I’ve only seen one episode so far, but you’ve got a love a show that has a bad Angel that goes back in time and un-sinks the Titanic because he doesn’t like the movie and wants to make Celine Dion an unknown alcoholic lounge singer so that he never has to hear that song again. Beyond the fact that I tend to strongly agree, that’s just plain hilarious writing! In the episode I saw, they also had a couple a rather humorous deaths at the hands of fate (as in causes the fate of men) a woman scorned by the show’s heroes because they ruin her career as fate. I also really liked that they didn’t pull any punches and try and pretty everything up, life is messy and people we love do die sometimes. There were a couple of lame parts in the show, such as when they’re trying to avoid being killed by fate and there were some jugglers in a park juggling knives and fire and the show tried to pretend that there was no way for the heroes to avoid walking directly between the two jugglers during their act. In reality you’d have to be either part of the act or a real Dick to walk right through someone’s performance, not to mention that it was a Park with plenty of room to walk around the entire act and its audience. I’m totally willing to forgive such minor indiscretions though, for such otherwise brilliant writing. The show is in its seventh season, so I have plenty of shows to catch up on, oodles and oodles of viewing pleasure. If you’re a fan of dark humor and sci-fi, I highly suggest you check out the show. It looks like it should be a virtual banquet of geeky goodness.
supernatural DVD’s

Traveling like bags and in the sea of hope you know, cracks of the world falling behind losing the disturbing texture of reality. Dream traveling to destinations unknown sparks flying out my drawers, dreamboat Susie shoots her shotgun in paragraphs. Boom from the mountain, boom from the sky, gastric thunder of life permeating my love, flabbergasted cockamamie I chicken walk through unknown dimensions. I touched the stars and their private parts, I have been to a 1000 black holes, eaten 6000 dirty souls, and sympathized with an old pair of boots on an uninhabited planet that have been there so long that nobody sees them anymore. They’re part of landscape that exists, as far as I know, only in my mind. Snoop’s action daddy whacker wants a baby biscuit and who hoosegow. Don’t sassafras my key daddy man, don’t insult me with your crazy bird call. We don’t care, the restriction is there but we can feel the endless madness of your mathematics and nothing adds up but the singular singularity. It’s the people, we are in ages of popping storage IAI IAI IAI Slavic boo-boo verruca Bobs about in a little douche coup with Leviathan savages. The marathon jungle staggers about, the sagging breasts of the tribe working like street cleaners on a 12 hour high. Darwin where art thou, hast thou forsaken us? Bumbershoot avalanche endarkens all, storm porn comin’ all steampunk willy-nilly like a bullet train to the brain. Lizards crawling through fallopian tubes with slobber bottoms…who can stop them? Who’d want to? No one can see the beginning, none can predict the end, STOP……….now.
Collection

President Barrack Obama recently announced, that unless he could have more money again, he was going to steal some more and keep it anyway. This time he is targeting senior citizens. In standard bully form, it seems he is targeting the weak and the infirm. If he can separate a couple from the herd, he plans on having a good meal as well. He warned that if he tried to keep money from him again, next time he would find a way to steal money from babies.

Many organizations have come forth in support of Obamas move to keep senior citizens rent money, the NASYB (national association of school yard bullies), the BDSOONMWHD (Blind democrat supporters of Obama no matter what he does), GWROP (gangsters who rob old people), the DTHE (dicks that hate everyone), OHIDAC (obamas ho’s in different area codes), last but not least RWAAOBCAR (republicans who are afraid of being called a racist)

Michael James Astrue aka A.M. Juster (his secret writing identity as a bad poet) who is the Commissioner of the Social Security Administration since 2007 was quoted as saying “Social Security is like a free for all holiday for our nations biggest demographic of non-contributing freeloaders and I’m the Grinch, Bah Humbug!” He went on to say that Social security checks have become the crystal meth of the senior citizen community. With just the threat of taking away the substance of their addiction, all of these low rent abusers have started showing signs of withdraw and senior on senior crime in retirement communities has more then tripled. There have been 132 cane assaults, 82 towncar hit and runs, 42 counts of malicious medication swapping, 13 commanded yappy dog attacks, at least 2 false teeth incidents and Helen grumstedder, a 97 year old lady was arrested the other day when she was caught trying to prostitute herself out for checks in an alley. Perhaps it’s time America started a war on retirement.

The article that came out in Citizen Watch (the Official New letter of government workers) referred to the statement as a humanitarian effort that will set a precedent for all free Americans who are not saddled with the burden of wealth. The following is an excerpt from the lead article “

We feel that senior citizens want to feel alive again. They want to feel the rush of going from ground zero to making it in this world that comes from truly living life. It’s obvious they are fed up with just sitting on their couches watching us destroy everything they ever held dear, so we are giving them just what they need…a new start! Living in a comfortable dwelling is boring and cumbersome, so with this new social security initiative we are going to upgrade them to tents. Camping is fun and even more fun when a lot of other people you can relate to are doing it with you. These last precious few years of their lives should be enjoyed to it’s fullest, and what could be more enjoyable or meaningful then communing with nature?

We managed to catch up to old B.O. himself (Barrack Obama) and get the lowdown on what all the stink was about. He was quoted as saying “Listen, these banks need more money and so do I, let’s be honest with ourselves America, who is more important the banks of the world and the president of an entire country, or little old you? These peole Knew the program was dangerous when they bought into it. just because a beggar has a hand out, doesn’t mean you have to stick money in it! Anyway, I’m really just supporting America by supporting my wife on her quest to challenge this obesity issue. If I can get Americans to tighten their belts some more, maybe they will stop eating and lose weight for a minute. Stop eating America! Your unsightly fat is ruining the aesthetics of an entire nation”.

So there you have it America, Obama is once again doing you a favor! He is riding this country of its stagnant population while simultaneously giving senior citizens a permanent camping vacation from their previous tedious lives. Clearly it is a win win for everyone, that’s just the way the big O rolls!

Go 4 O!

Today on Hiraldo – Indentured husbands

I found These wonderful little ditties at my local Walmart. Is it just me, or is this a hilarious social commentary on marriage? “I’m gonna drag your ass to the alter and if you don’t say “I do”, I’m gonna punch you right in your lilly livered mouth!”. It’s as if society is giving the old thumbs up for bridezillas. Is this really something we should be encouraging? I really kind of feel that watching that show “bridezillas” is like making fun of the mentally ill. Should they be getting married or getting committed? Is there even a difference?

If bridezillas are Godzilla-like brides, does that make grooms like frightened little Japanese men who are running away and screaming in fear yelling “OH NO BRIDEZIWA!” hoping they don’t get squashed by this out of control monster? Probably. Don’t be afraid little groom. Thankfully women like that are in the minority…I think. These remind me of that old cartoon with the cracky hillbilly chick who always says “I’m gonna get me a maan!”

St. Petersburg, FL – The federal government says a flying car called the Transition is street legal. The company that makes the vehicle, Terrafugia, expects the Transition to hit the road or air late next year.

Priced at roughly $250,000, Terrafugia says they have already pre-sold 100 of the vehicles.

Richard Gersh, the V.P of Business Development for Terrafugia says Florida is one of their top states for pre-orders.

Gersh would not reveal how many people in Florida have pre-ordered one of the flying cars, only that the company requires a $10,000 security deposit.

The Transition was cleared by the FAA last year.

Terrafugia has been developing the flying car since 2008.

 

It feels as though there is going to be a catch here, like a “We said they were street legal, not air legal” or “wait a minute sir, before you take off where’s your pilot license?”. It makes me wonder if who ever is behind getting this article out there has a stake in the Terrafugia. It will be interesting to see what ensues when 100 flying cars take to the air in St. Petersburg.

Flying cars, it’s about time!

Check it out on the link above. It’s pretty cool, but it is more like a car that converts into a little airplane

An open letter to Netflix;

 

This is a really bad move for your company, let me break it down for you!

 

You were transforming media as we know it into an animal capable of swimming with, if not taking down, the big boys. Many people that I know (including myself) have given up paying for cable and gone with Netflix almost exclusively. You could have been well on your way (especially if you developed better set-top boxes) to being ‘the new television”. I really believe, had you kept adjusting and advancing your model in the other direction, you were on target to set the new standard in the entertainment media industry. This move is almost certainly going to reverse that momentum. Had you kept heading in the direction you were going, you could have further revolutionized media as we know it! Instead you are heading down a long sad path following a long precession of bad examples such as ebay, cable, vegas and many more. These entities all ditched what made them rich household Icons, in favor of putting the squeeze on the people who got them there in the first place. Sounds ridiculous right? They all have another thing in common, they are all losing money and clientele at an alarming rate. Now, you are following the herd off of the cliff, you have opted for greed over integrity. You are discarding key elements that brought your company where it is today, in favor of making more money, but you are shooting your empire in the foot and holding the door open for the competition to waltz right in. Any boost in revenue from these vader tactics that you may see, will be short lived. In the long run, you are undermining all of your previous efforts. If you are going to start changing things, you can’t change things that give your company its perceived value if you want to continue on your quest for world domination. If you make any changes on your model of success, it should be to ad value, to “enhance” your product, not subtract from it. Do the math!

 

Johnny has plan A for 9.99, he’s very adamant about watching his movie and sending it back immediately, so he averages one and a half movies per week. That comes out to 6 movies per month. That equals $6.00 (on the high end, personally I only do about 4 movies per month) which, when compared to the next most viable option (redbox), accounts for $6 of your $9.99 monthly fee leaving $3.99 to account for instant view movies. $3.99 for 10,000 movies sounds pretty good right…and it is. Charging any more though quickly depletes from it’s value and here’s why.

 

For me and many others Netflix instant view has replaced cable premium movie channels. It has some draw backs and here is what they are:

1. Premium cable channels ad one or two recent box office movies per week, I rarely see any on Netflix. The movies through the mail offset that, but no longer will once you more then double what you were already charging for the same exact product.
2. premium channels have great original programming and you see it right when it comes out, Netflix has no original programming, but you might see it months later…if you’re lucky! I’m still waiting for True Blood.
3. Cable started following Netflix example and now offers many instant view movies included in the price of their monthly fee free of charge. Netflix is no longer going to follow it’s own example and will most likely be trampled by its own clones.
4. Neither HBO nor Netflix manages to ad a substantial amount of fresh programming on a weekly basis, so we’ll call that one a draw…they’re both losers.
5. Your streaming is pretty good, but it does fail…sometimes epically! I have had one movie cut out and start over as much as twenty times before I was able to get through it to the end, cable doesn’t do this, it’s either up or down, but mostly it’s up. It’s really not a pleasurable experience to spend four hours watching a movie that is really only an hour and a half on any other source.
6. out of ten thousand items, lets say, for the sake of argument, a person can find 100 movies that they haven’t seen yet, but would really like to watch…unlikely. Out of those hundred you have to find something you are in the mood to watch. Over a short period of time you cut through those continually whittling  it down. Before long, once your sign-up spree has ended, you’re back to having a sparse collection with very few new releases coming out. This is barely and I mean barely going to cover your entertainment requirements.

The bottom line is, the combined package of 1 DVD at a time and instant view is basically an adequate replacement for a premium movie channel at $9.99, but if you go to much beyond that, you’re basically taking away the value that your customers see in it. I could see paying two maybe even three dollars extra per month for a service I perceive as getting ever better, if I had received the letter that was more like this:

dear customer,

due to our continual rise in Netflix customers, and our desire to bring you more new releases, it is going to be necessary for us to upgrade our server farm and increase our broadband to insure that everyone continues to receive the high-quality streaming we pride ourselves in. In order to offset our costs, we are going to be increasing our subscription fees by two dollars. To demonstrate the value you will be receiving in return, we have added 10 recently released to DVD movies to our new releases section. Check them out! Thank you for your continued patronage and support.

The letter that we got was more like this;

dear customer,

we have decided to give you half of the product at more than twice the price. A sucker is born every minute, thank you for being one of them. Drive through please .

Conclusion: Netflix will be in decline by their own design and will fade into the bytes of time.

SMOOTH MOVE NETDIX!!!

 Ok, the first thing you need to know about this movie is who stars in it, two mega-pop star has beens. Tiffany, of mall tour fame, and Debbie Gibson of “other crappy pop star fame. Just the idea of putting these two in a movie together is hilarious in itself, but the movie did not disappoint either. Can you say hillarious cat fight? I was about the farthest thing you can get from a tiffany fan, I couldn’t even bring myself to go to a mall concert for all of the easily manipulated flock of dunder-snooch that would most certainly be in attendance. How do I know what type of girls would be in attendance? It’s a Tiffany concert. Girls who were into Tiffany were more plyable then silly putty. It was the only crowd that Jedi mind tricks actually worked on. I think that this is a great direction for Tiffany though, she’s not a great actor by any means, but she’s not horrific either, her deliveries are entertaining and she’s got an amazing set of blouse popping wobblers. I have to say, I am a fan now. Maybe I just love an underdog, but Tiffany is fighting her way back from an anomaly that spells certain doom for most people, a tigerbeat preteen pop career. You could smell her stardom falling from its inception. Kudos to you Tiffany.

Now, I have personal conflict with Debie Gibson. When I had my town car business in St. Petersburg, I drove her around for a whole night. She was supposed to pay me $380 for the night, with tip I was figuring $420 +! When I dropped her off at the hotel, she told me her assistant would come out and pay me in a few minutes. No one ever came out…Debbie Gibson had stiffed me! That being said, I enjoyed her in the movie as well. It’s true she ripped me off, but I don’t really hold onto the past much, and as I said, I love an underdog. Her acting seemed to be a little more seasoned then Tiffany’s as well.

This movie had plenty of the essential elements of a good bad schlock fest. Half baked cg effects, bad writing, the two wanna-divas were utilized well, and it was all tied together with a hunger satisfying ending. If you enjoy campy cheese-blowing movies as I do, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is a must see. Watch for the song lyrics inserted in as dialogue…hilarious. A big fireman bill laugh to that.