President Barrack Obama recently announced, that unless he could have more money again, he was going to steal some more and keep it anyway. This time he is targeting senior citizens. In standard bully form, it seems he is targeting the weak and the infirm. If he can separate a couple from the herd, he plans on having a good meal as well. He warned that if he tried to keep money from him again, next time he would find a way to steal money from babies.
Many organizations have come forth in support of Obamas move to keep senior citizens rent money, the NASYB (national association of school yard bullies), the BDSOONMWHD (Blind democrat supporters of Obama no matter what he does), GWROP (gangsters who rob old people), the DTHE (dicks that hate everyone), OHIDAC (obamas ho’s in different area codes), last but not least RWAAOBCAR (republicans who are afraid of being called a racist)
Michael James Astrue aka A.M. Juster (his secret writing identity as a bad poet) who is the Commissioner of the Social Security Administration since 2007 was quoted as saying “Social Security is like a free for all holiday for our nations biggest demographic of non-contributing freeloaders and I’m the Grinch, Bah Humbug!” He went on to say that Social security checks have become the crystal meth of the senior citizen community. With just the threat of taking away the substance of their addiction, all of these low rent abusers have started showing signs of withdraw and senior on senior crime in retirement communities has more then tripled. There have been 132 cane assaults, 82 towncar hit and runs, 42 counts of malicious medication swapping, 13 commanded yappy dog attacks, at least 2 false teeth incidents and Helen grumstedder, a 97 year old lady was arrested the other day when she was caught trying to prostitute herself out for checks in an alley. Perhaps it’s time America started a war on retirement.
The article that came out in Citizen Watch (the Official New letter of government workers) referred to the statement as a humanitarian effort that will set a precedent for all free Americans who are not saddled with the burden of wealth. The following is an excerpt from the lead article “
We feel that senior citizens want to feel alive again. They want to feel the rush of going from ground zero to making it in this world that comes from truly living life. It’s obvious they are fed up with just sitting on their couches watching us destroy everything they ever held dear, so we are giving them just what they need…a new start! Living in a comfortable dwelling is boring and cumbersome, so with this new social security initiative we are going to upgrade them to tents. Camping is fun and even more fun when a lot of other people you can relate to are doing it with you. These last precious few years of their lives should be enjoyed to it’s fullest, and what could be more enjoyable or meaningful then communing with nature?
We managed to catch up to old B.O. himself (Barrack Obama) and get the lowdown on what all the stink was about. He was quoted as saying “Listen, these banks need more money and so do I, let’s be honest with ourselves America, who is more important the banks of the world and the president of an entire country, or little old you? These peole Knew the program was dangerous when they bought into it. just because a beggar has a hand out, doesn’t mean you have to stick money in it! Anyway, I’m really just supporting America by supporting my wife on her quest to challenge this obesity issue. If I can get Americans to tighten their belts some more, maybe they will stop eating and lose weight for a minute. Stop eating America! Your unsightly fat is ruining the aesthetics of an entire nation”.
So there you have it America, Obama is once again doing you a favor! He is riding this country of its stagnant population while simultaneously giving senior citizens a permanent camping vacation from their previous tedious lives. Clearly it is a win win for everyone, that’s just the way the big O rolls!
Go 4 O!