Archive for May 2011
Great… There goes that service. Microsoft is like Midas and the anti-Midas all once, whatever they touch turns to gold for them and shit for us. Thanks Microsoft. Bill Gates has got his fingers all up in America’s hair pie. Aren’t you rich enough bill? You don’t have to crush everything that’s free you know. Listen, I’m not saying you’re an all bad guy or anything like that, in fact I know that you donate a lot of your money to good causes. I’m just saying let your hacker ethic do the driving once in a while. Maybe if you just concentrated on what made you a kabillionaire in the first place we wouldn’t have any douche bag debacles like Windows Vista going on.
You took it over, you probably have plans for it, but let me just say this to you. Bill, do me a favor, this is your old buddy Shane speaking here, don’t make Skype all about making a dime. Leave Skype to Skype calls free, just as they have always been. Do you remember that time in college when we are at that park, and those guys started threatening us and then they let lose their three pit bulls on us and we ran in jumped on top of my cousins car. You were wearing like boat shoes or something and scared shirtless yelling at the top your lungs. Do you remember? who saved your ass? It was mean Joe and me wasn’t it. I was wearing those big old fireman boots that were like two sizes too big for me, and mean Joe was wearing his combat boots, and we stood in front of you furiously kicking those fucking dogs off the roof for about 10 minutes until those jack wads finally called off their dogs because they were afraid we would hurt them. Think about that when you’re trying to decide how much to charge people to talk to each other. Dude, you remember my mom, you used to like her. Well now she lives in Ireland, and the only way I can talk to her is with skype. Don’t fuck my mom dude! Oh, and also remember “giant robot”. If it wasn’t for “giant robot”, you probably wouldn’t even be where you are today and that came from me. Put that in your pie and eat it!
Obama bin Laden
what in the world is the deal with the “slaying” of Osama bin Laden? They killed him, but they threw his body in the ocean before anybody could see it, and they’re not going to release any pictures. They were disposing of the body to honor his religion, but not enough not to kill his ass. The story stinks like three-week old fish. What kind of hocus-pocus baloney is going on here? What is the real motive behind this theoretical death? I don’t believe they really killed Osama bin Laden, I think they are just trying to test the waters to see how the world reacts to a political assassination. My theory is that Osama bin Laden has actually been dead for a little bit now. And what was with all the different spins they put on the story? That’s what makes me think they’re testing the waters for something. If you putting a bunch of different spins on the media you releasing, it has got to be an attempt to gauge the world’s reaction to what you’re doing. And what was that crazy shit about the war dogs with battle armor and titanium teeth implants??? That is some crazy shit! Where are the animal rights people when you need them? They all seem to be cheering for these heroic dogs of war. Is it me, or does giving German shepherds titanium teeth implants give anyone else that heebie-jeebies? Hey, wasn’t that dog a villain in a Bond movie?
Maybe Barack Hussein Obama and Osama bin Laden are one and the same. Maybe he had to kill off his secret identity when he was forced to produce that hokey Pokey birth certificate. If you put them side-by-side, it is pretty clear that they could possibly, with a little stretch of the imagination, be the same person. Give Obama a turban, 1970s vagina beard, and a little bit of makeup and Abracadabra allakazam…Obama bin Laden. It would explain why he’s so secretive. Obama, can we see your birth certificate. “No, I don’t wanna”. Obama, how about you show us those pictures of Osama bin Laden? “No, I don’t wanna” Obama, can we see what is in that medical bill your trying to pass? “No way”. Hey Obama, where is his trillions of dollars of bailout money going to? “I’m not telling”. What is with this guy? It’s like a bag has been put over America’s head, and now were just being repeatedly punched in the face. Where will the punches come from next?
Lest you think that I am a Republican, you are wrong. I am no more a Republican, then I am a Democrat. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, there are no Republicans, and there are no Democrats. There are only republicrats. A one-party system that gives us the illusion of having a choice. Because in case you haven’t noticed, it’s we the people, who are taking one for the team no matter which party is in office. The same agenda is always pursued, and the same results are always obtained. More for them and less for us. If you don’t believe that, then you are thinking exactly what they programmed you to think. Wake-up world, stop having a love affair with your rapist.
this show is bad ass! I’ve always liked Christian Slater, I have been a fan ever since “Heather’s” and a number of years back I had the great fortune to hang out with him in my beater 30 foot motorhome when he happened to wander onto my land in St. Johns Arizona. He was very down to earth, very cool, and exceedingly generous. Unlike Jon Voight, who is a total Dick in person. Offhand I can’t think of anything really bad he’s done, but breaking in rocks! This show takes the cookie Puss, it’s geekcentric, riddled with references, and more fun than an orgy of flying monkeys. The last couple of shows he did, it seems, weren’t really good vehicles for him. This show however, will be. My prediction is, that this show will be on for a good long time. The cast is great, the writing is excellent, it’s witty as fuck, everything is pretty much right on. As long as they continue doing what they’re doing, I can’t imagine the show won’t be a hit. Although, what they choose to leave on the air, and what they take off, never ceases to amaze me. I mean seriously, how can a show like “the riches” be shut down in the first season, and then a show like “small wonder” is left on to desecrate the airwaves for umpteen gazillion years? Dear television executives, the blockage in your colon… Is your brain. Please do the world a favor and crap it out, cleaned off and put it back in your au gratin potato head. Thank you…NEXT!! but I digress, if you haven’t seen it, or even heard of it, you must watch it. It’s pretty much my new favorite show. you must watch it watch it watch it! Sheeple of the planet Earth, I implore you, you must watch this show. Don’t let this be another firefly tragedy, is it too much to ask that we keep good programming on the air? I think not.
As expected the action in the movie fast five was fast and furious. In fact it was just as fast and furious as it was unbelievable. Their staple characters managed to warp reality and defy physics at every turn all the while managing to remain looking suppa cool while doing it. In this fourth installment of the fast and furious franchise, your favorite antiheroes took on a corrupt Brazilian drug lord in control of the government of Rio De Janeiro by concocting a plan to steal $100 million dollars from said villain. The plan was so preposterous and impossible that it could only be executed in a movie… Thank God they were in one. The only thing that made this movie really believable at all, was that everybody knows that the governments of the world are corrupt. The United States government is pretty blatant about it, and for the South American governments it’s a way of life. Now for some people all of these physics defying shenanigans would completely ruin the movie, because it doesn’t sustain disbelief for them, but personally I can be awfully forgiving towards a movie and take what I can from it. I guess I just recognize that it’s a movie that’s telling a story and all stories aren’t necessarily meant to be believable, some are just made to be fun. That being said, this movie was fun. With all it’s flaws, I still really quite enjoyed the the movie. The action was constant and crazy, the characters were crazy and crafty, and the cinematography was dramatic and Daffy.… And of course the girls were hot and the cars were cool. If you can overlook the fact that a lot of this movie has no basis in physics or reality, then I’m pretty sure you’ll get a kick out of it.
Perks: the cast, smashes, crashes, brawls, speed, hot chicks, cool cars, defying authority, underdogs, taking down the bad guys, get away with millions, and getting the girls.
Jerks: defies physics, ignores reality, puts more stock in being cool than the actual story,two Dodge Chargers dragging a multi-ton safe around at high speeds… I don’t think so, the creation of stupid hijacking gadgets to make what they’re doing look cooler, Dwayne Johnson’s line where he says whatever you do don’t let them into cars… Lame (no reflection on Dwayne Johnson, I love to see him in movies), the richest man in all of Brazil that controls an entire mega city only has $100 million???… Sure.
Prediction/suggestion for next movie title: The furious five
things the next installment should bring back:
The staples (original cast, fast cars, hot girls, an element of cool, lots of speed and action)
another heist plot
suggestions for the next movie
introduction of an extreme thief, a real urban street wise B&E man capable of parkour
a great parkour chase
unless you have a great idea, you don’t have to use the cars to commit the actual robberies, they can be used as getaway cars in spectacular chases.
Don’t make them broke and destitute and in need of more money, instead have them doing it with a double goal in mind, such as eliminating another evil bastard from the world whilst grabbing all of his loot. Outlaw anti-heroes with a slightly skewed moral compass, a keen sense of ironic justice, and a penchent for piracy on the open road.
I’m the goat. This is a saying that everyone in my family now says whenever they are being overlooked or ignored. If you speak and no one hears you…you’re the goat my friend. This saying is in reference to the movie “where the wild things are”, although the saying is not actually in the movie. If you’ve seen the movie, however, you may have noticed that the goat is largely ignored and discarded. If you haven’t seen the movie, then you should, if for no other reason that you will see what I am talking about. It is a very good movie though. I avoided seeing it for a long time because I thought it was being directed by spike lee and since he has a very specific flavor, I didn’t want to see how he butchered a fond childhood memory, but much to my chagrin it was actually spike Jones who directed the movie and did a rather good job of it at that. I for one was entertained and intrigued. After watching it as an adult, I kind of feel that the characters represented psychological personality types, but I could just be reading more into it then there actually is. Either way, I related more closely to the goat then I did to any other character, that may be kind of sad if it is because the goat was mostly ignored, but I also felt that the goat was a good character with a good heart who tried to treat others fairly. In the end I only have one thing to say to all of it “I’m the goat”
I can’t tell whether they’re changing the name of their product constantly, or if they’re just different products that Adobe Photoshop is trying to pawn off on you. It’s ridiculous, I wanted to buy the newest version of Adobe Photoshop, but they’ve got elements nine and CS5 and I can’t tell which one or both of them would replace my old version Photoshop 7. Whoever’s marketing this product for them is mentally deficient. I even tried to contact them to voice my frustration with their crappy product and website, and as it turns out you simply can’t. Just another crappy stink rot Corporation that doesn’t want to be bothered with their customers. I really liked the way that Photoshop 7 did a couple things as opposed to the way gimp did those things, but the annoying experience I just had trying to perform the simple act of purchasing their product makes gimp the clear winner.… And of course gimp is free. The main reason I was gonna buy Photoshop is because I lost my old disk and I thought it would be easier than tackling the learning curve it might take to switch over to gimp, but apparently dumb dumb ass Adobe Mcdouche bags create a learning curve for you just to order their stupid product… EEESHH!
Dear Adobe Photoshop,
your product stinks like an undead babies dirty diaper. Your marketing plan to baffle the customer with confusion, illusion, misdirection, and chaos is ill-conceived, hostile, and insulting. Please do the universal favor and fade into obscurity, I believe this is your destiny anyways.
PS: just so you know, any company that hides behind a mysterious shroud of complicated communication tactics designed to keep your customers from actually contacting you is evil and a traitor to humanity. If I could’ve actually contacted your company without geting the old rigmarole and 23 skidoo, what I wrote or said to you would have been much nicer, but alas, since you are bog wallowing bottom feeding scump weeds just trying to pull the hoods over our eyes so you can punch us in the face of steel our pie, I am perfectly happy to give you bad press.