Fast five is alive!   Leave a comment

As expected the action in the movie fast five was fast and furious. In fact it was just as fast and furious as it was unbelievable. Their staple characters managed to warp reality and defy physics at every turn all the while managing to remain looking suppa cool while doing it. In this fourth installment of the fast and furious franchise, your favorite antiheroes took on a corrupt Brazilian drug lord in control of the government of Rio De Janeiro  by concocting a plan to steal $100 million dollars from said villain. The plan was so preposterous and impossible that it could only be executed in a movie… Thank God they were in one. The only thing that made this movie really believable at all, was that everybody knows that the governments of the world are corrupt. The United States government is pretty blatant about it, and for the South American governments it’s a way of life. Now for some people all of these physics defying shenanigans would completely ruin the movie, because it doesn’t sustain disbelief for them, but personally I can be awfully forgiving towards a movie and take what I can from it. I guess I just recognize that it’s a movie that’s telling a story and all stories aren’t necessarily meant to be believable, some are just made to be fun. That being said, this movie was fun. With all it’s flaws, I still really quite enjoyed the the movie. The action was constant and crazy, the characters were crazy and crafty, and the cinematography was dramatic and Daffy.… And of course the girls were hot and the cars were cool. If you can overlook the fact that a lot of this movie has no basis in physics or reality, then I’m pretty sure you’ll get a kick out of it.

Perks: the cast, smashes, crashes, brawls, speed, hot chicks, cool cars, defying authority, underdogs, taking down the bad guys, get away with millions, and getting the girls.

Jerks: defies physics, ignores reality, puts more stock in being cool than the actual story,two Dodge Chargers dragging a multi-ton safe around at high speeds… I don’t think so, the creation of stupid hijacking gadgets to make what they’re doing look cooler, Dwayne Johnson’s line where he says whatever you do don’t let them into cars… Lame (no reflection on Dwayne Johnson, I love to see him in movies), the richest man in all of Brazil that controls an entire mega city only has $100 million???… Sure.

Prediction/suggestion for next movie title: The furious five

things the next installment should bring back:

The staples (original cast, fast cars, hot girls, an element of cool, lots of speed and action)

Dwayne Johnson

Sung Kang

Tego Calderon

another heist plot

suggestions for the next movie

introduction of an extreme thief, a real urban street wise B&E man capable of parkour

a great parkour chase

unless you have a great idea, you don’t have to use the cars to commit the actual robberies, they can be used as getaway cars in spectacular chases.

Don’t make them broke and destitute and in need of more money, instead have them doing it with a double goal in mind, such as eliminating another evil bastard from the world whilst grabbing all of his loot. Outlaw anti-heroes with a slightly skewed moral compass, a keen sense of ironic justice, and a penchent for piracy on the open road.


Posted May 3, 2011 by Salty Dawg Salvage in Uncategorized

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